January 6, 2015

24 – and before is not anymore

25 – its strange & good to be alive
26 – seeing things that need a fix
27 – bills for pills and therapy sessions
28 – accept it all as a trick of fate
29 – would make a change if there was time
the big three zero – over trying to be a hero
31 – a little addition & adulthood has really begun
32 – duty is what there is to do
33 – the balance of circumstance and biology is reality
34 – scrape the edges, look for more
35 – still searching for the drive
36 – sick and tired of being tired and sick; the cliché sticks
37 – don’t worry much about hell or heaven
38 – a bit to soon for it to be too late
39 – and no one wants to hear me whine

but this year I’m 40.

still sad, stuck and silly.


7 Responses to “#s”

  1. Bareknuckle Says:

    I love you, Shawn. I like the progression of this piece. I don’t think I can remember the years with the clarity and specifics that you do. “A bit too soon for it to be too late….” I like this line…..

  2. Lindsey Says:

    Forty rhymes with snorty. Shorty. Sortie? Cavort-y? Good Lortie. How did we get this old?

  3. Joe Says:

    Reading this helped me contextualize the way I’ve been feeling lately. Don’t let the words “midlife crisis” and their image of a 45 year old yuppie buying a Porsche turn you off. I think it’s relevant to anyone going through middle age.


    It’s too long though. Basically you can read the first section and look at the chart at the end.

  4. Joe Says:

    (The upshot is everyone is happier when they are young and when they are old. So I’ve decided to see if I can adopt the perspective of someone in their 50s-60s now, to get that 50s-60s happiness, rather than bemoaning that I can no longer take the perspective of someone in their 30s)

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