paradox and palindrome

July 30, 2014

my firstborn’s initials are HRB
and because we call the middle kid by her initials –
EZB (Easy Bee)
i thought i would use fair practice for initials (FPFI)
and so i started calling her Herb
and then Herbert – she hates this.

HeRB has a strange artistic integrity,
an intensity that commands/inspires respect
though she can have trouble granting it.
she is older than she needs to be
and yet liable to break her self down
to near emotional infancy in a moment.
she can be generous to a point that makes me nervous;
and i want to tell her that she can’t give so much
but she doesn’t hesitate or regret,
she anticipates. (positive and negative)
she does not make it easy to romanticize parenting.
she does desire to please
but is not so eager to do so
that she will allow it to interfere
with whatever story her mind has her living in.
she loves with all her heart
she is passionate, earnest and fragile
she is her own and
has a hundred worlds spinning all around her at once
awaiting her pleasure and continued creation.
she dances in my deepest heart
captures, captivates, fascinates, infuriates
she is definitely not just a little kid anymore;
i delight in her friendship.
i think we will always be friends,
i have joy in that.

she is so much more than I could ever say
so far beyond my powers of articulation or reason
she is exasperating
she is beautiful
she is 7
she is my daughter
i am glad.

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5 Responses to “paradox and palindrome”

  1. Jim Says:

    Hannah . . . She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

  2. Marnie Ferree Says:

    Beautiful! Like your daughter and like your father’s love.

  3. Gail Brown Says:

    What a beautiful gift God has given you in your Hannah and a gift to be able to describe her in such a way as to make others see her as she is.

  4. Lindsey Says:

    She’s 7?!? Wow. She’s perfect.

  5. Bareknuckle Says:

    I love the idea that children (especially HRB) have artistic integrity. And graciousness. And hundreds of worlds spinning around them. Lovely…..


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