whimper olympian

February 20, 2014

here is an unhelpful analogy:
sore throats are the depression of sickness.
(i’m not talking like strep throat or major depression,
just the normal stuff…
(look, the more you think about this the less sense it will make)
(o.k. lets continue))
you know, if you have a sickness that requires
proximity to a bathroom (or you have pink eye).
– no one wants you around
and you can’t hide it.
or if you gotta fever and you’re all pale and sweaty;
lookin like you’re about to fall out…
somebody is going to say:
“hey, you should probably go home.”
but when you’ve just got a sore throat?
what? – nobody cares, you seem well enough,
we all get some sore throats,
get back to work.
quit complainin , don’t wanna hear about it…
but you feel awful.
it hurts to breathe, you can’t sleep
you don’t want to see anybody
you just wanna be left alone.
you can take some meds and they’ll help a little bit
but everything seems like so much effort
and ooohhhhh the pain…
the excruciating existential doubt and pain!!
the light has gone out of the world
you don’t wanna get outta bed
you don’t wanna eat
the things you enjoy, don’t even sound vaguely appealing,
everything is just soooooo unfair! anguish!
God must hate you.
everything that was once good has burned in hellfire smoke
been inhaled, coated your throat,
and turned into deep scratchy swollen suffering!!
but thats no excuse.
you still gotta go to work, still gotta function,
come home do your part,
and the sickness extends into weeks
and it seems you will never be able to rest
never get better
and the picture of past happiness
or idea of future joy and healthfulness
blurs in the tears of your purulent eye… etc. etc.
ah, i’m tired.

see? – just like depression.


6 Responses to “whimper olympian”

  1. Shawn Says:

    uummmmmm…. this was supposed to be funny but my wife said it kinda of wasn’t, so read it with a real comedic cheerful voice! yay!

  2. Ryan Roling Says:

    Sorry Shawn, she’s kinda right. (plus I’ve had a sore throat this week)

  3. Lindsey Says:

    The word “purulent” is one I am happy to add to my vocabulary.

    • Shawn Says:

      yah, the other choice being pussy – which just doesnt work in print.

      1 word, at least 3 definitions – that have nothing to do with each other. i could write a post called “the meaning of pussy” – i think that would be swell.

  4. Rachel Says:

    Yes, it is sad, not funny. I want to give you a big hug, except maybe not a hug since those aren’t your favorite and a beer instead . . . .

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