special

January 14, 2014

what makes you special?
i guarantee its not perfection
regardless of the standard you’ve chosen,
regardless.

is it more likely that it is some strength of character
built up as a result of imperfection?

whoa this shit got deep fast.
my mind just exploded – BOOM!
with ideas and directions to go from here…

all of them explored before by lots of other people
and im just too tired.

originality, deep thoughts;
i’ve got nothing,
nothing to add,
nothing special.
sometimes realism sounds like self-pity.

i am the pragmatic dreamer…
i would love to do this or that,
to better my life –
that if i told my story down the road
people would think it had a happy ending
or at least an inspiring direction.
but probably not.
i doubt that i am special in that way
and despair, depression, anxiety, exhaustion;
these are not engines of change.
i know there are narratives that say otherwise,
well, good for them – they’re special.
i’m not bitter, it just doesn’t ring true to me.
settling is not special,
stories that burn down to nerves and ashes
are not fun to listen to.

Advertisements

4 Responses to “special”

  1. Lindsey Says:

    That’s a word that I have difficulty saying or hearing without irony. I kind of envy people who don’t have this problem.

  2. Gail Brown Says:

    I’ve always thought you were and are special, but I love you anyways.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s