an open letter to my Unfair Advantage

January 6, 2013

its hard to know what to write.
we talk so much,
we are so familiar with the depths
of each other’s griefs and pain and panic
until we are exhausted
but…
we are also safe.
here, together at this moment.

our arms may not be so strong
that they can hold sorrow at bay;
still they are strong enough to hold each other.

and somehow even when we are both empty
we can, to some small measure, fill each other.

and in other ways, where
we are overfilled overwhelmed and spilling over;
we can catch and contain a small surplus of the other.

though ive proven of late (pretty thoroughly)
that im not very good at maths (damn the greeeeeeeeee!!!)
i feel confident in saying that:
>=================>  this doesnt add up.

so once again we come around
to the wonderful mystery and miracle of love.

……….its been enough
…..sometimes just…
but here we are.

…………………………………….…………………………………….…………………….

(understatement) = that was a hard year.
even the harshest cuss seems trite as a descriptive qualifier
even mentioning it…
but as we face down another
with all the carryover from the last
(its not like the new year is a magic reset button)
and the new impossible challenges
that we are purposely pursuing (what the hell are we thinking?)
i just want to restate the obvious:
im glad we are in this together
im bolstered just by the thought…

the thought of you.
(its really my favorite one you know)

You are and will ever remain my Unfair Advantage.
……………………………………………………………………………………………..

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8 Responses to “an open letter to my Unfair Advantage”

  1. Ryan Roling Says:

    Beautifully written. Beautiful love. Beautiful to still be able to express it so confidently after 16.5 years. You’re lucky to have each other.

    (Thanks for another song to add to the collection.)

    Love – Ryan

  2. thomas reppart Says:

    this deserves more attention than I can give it at the moment–some very thought-full lines in there. As I read it, hurriedly, I thought of moments during the change-of-year two days I spent with my brother, sharing griefs & joys, sipping tear soup with thick slices of the bread of life, and making plans…personal, global & eternal…

    thanks for posting for our stimulation & exercise…after the first quick glance, I always try to come back and read…aloud…to set your reflections in the physical as well as the meta-physical.

    ~Thomas

  3. Lindsey Says:

    This song, this song! Why have I not heard it before! It makes me miss that place (and all of you) even more than I already do.

    • Shawn Says:

      We miss you as well, EZB was saying so today.

      It is an old song that I have never had the oppurtunity to clean up and mix properly and so I have never felt like it was “finished” and ready to present, but it is a true song about my Home and how she fills this house with that affection and my gratitude for it. So I’m glad it makes you miss us.

  4. Kristen Says:

    I echo many of the sentiments already expressed here: You are beautiful people with a beautiful love, I am so thankful to know you both, and I (We) miss you tremendously (Couldn’t you have stayed? Couldn’t the laughter and toasting have continued???).

    Once again, your words are very stirring (and funny- the gre!). This is another one I want to frame parts of… or place in a notebook of my favorite collected quotes/writings. For the record- I, too, am thankful for your Unfair Advantage. The thought of her is good to me as well, for she is a light and encouragement to me.

    Love to you all.


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