we wish you some yummy nyum-nyums

December 19, 2012

O.K. …

EZB calls nursing
(actually i think more specifically my wife’s breasts)
i guess each one is a nyum? – i’m not sure
the other day we overhear her singing to my son
(full of Christmas cheer)
“I wish you some yummy nyum-nyums”
he was greatly comforted.
we had been changing the words
to things we actually wanted
cause – what the hell is figgy pudding?
and why wouldnt you leave till you get some
thats just rude (i demand pudding!)
so.. i’d been saying beer and chocolate
“now bring us some beer and chocolate”
i mean… come on! we’re talkin happy holidays!
and singing “hope and money”
would just be too hard to explain… so thats gotta do!
the first-born is all about “cake and candy”
but EZB is more considerate.

tonight on the way home (all the way home)
she is in her car seat singing
“digga digga digga wak wak” (wak wak – like pac-man)
its uneven, different sets of diggas and waks
finally i ask about this song she has made up
she says the waks are for houses with lights
and the diggas are those without
i digga some Christmas cheer so wak out and put up some lights!

she’s been telling the story of the 3 bears lately
(and Goldilocks – but she’s not that important in EZB‘s version)
plus theres a picnic and honey
and misc. events and adventures for the three bears’ walk
but the best part is when she does the voices of the bears
esp. papa bear’s deep growley voice and
baby bear’s pathetic cry over his broken chair…

at bedtime she tells this to her baby doll
i see it laying on her pillow.
then, after lights are out and songs are sung
and she has already come out to use the bathroom
and for her multiple “one hug”
she comes out weeping
“where’s my baby?”
and a desperate search ensues
seriously, we cannot find this damn baby doll
and no other will do
i look everywhere
with a flash light, the lights come on
(in spite of her sister’s protests)
my wife comes to help – everywhere, everything
it has disappeared – i’m mystified
EZB is standing in the middle of the room
in her “cozy jajamas” (those with monkeys and footsies)
about at the end of her rope
like a mom at the mall with her kid hiding in the clothes rack
when i say “is it in one of your drawers?”
she immediately brightens almost shouting: “maybe!”
it is there in the middle drawer buried in clothes
so that “no one will steal it”
…she is tucking it in
and i am saying goodnight (again) to her sister
when she says, “this is my best baby…
her name is Gina”,
not as in the phonetic ‘jee-nuh’
but as in the anatomical vagina
(short for ‘gajina’ in EZB speak)
my older daughter buries her head in her pillow
shoulders shaking in silent laughter
and me too with my head resting on her shoulder
(i seem to have misplaced my vagina)
as i leave the room i hear big sister explaining
“you cant name her that, that’s private”
so, that means, now…
there is a baby doll named vagina living in my house.

glad tidings to you.


6 Responses to “we wish you some yummy nyum-nyums”

  1. Ryan Roling Says:

    This is too good. I wish I were as creative as your 3-year-old!

  2. rachel Says:

    Oh my word, laughing so much at this one. I need me a dose of EZB. She is one fantastic little person! And you capture her fantastically. Well done!

  3. Lindsey Says:

    Goodness. Someone needs to teach that kid to take better care of her Gina!

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