mind of peace, chin of hair

December 4, 2012

and it all falls down around you
or it doesnt
you take a pill to shore it up
or you dont

there is a darkness that flows steadily
a strange pain filling the corners
the unfinished brick house
a bomb shelter where you huddle
to wait out the noise

there are people
for whom this reality is…
not some imagined explanatory metaphor
and we can weep for them
we should, we will
without doubt – only truth.
the hunger for calm for quiet for breath for time
cannot be compared to: hunger.

but its not helpful to make comparisons
to tell anyone (including yourself)
“well, it could be worse”
there is just nowhere to go with that thought
there is no where to go for you
where depression is not;
there is no where to go for them
where safety is.

their (eastern) walls are all scarred by gunfire
and children play outside in the interludes
i sit staring at my pockmarked wall
fascinated by the patternless spray of bullets
consumed with sticking my finger in each hole
and i scratch my chin
wonder how i can be this selfish
also how i can be this sad.
how can we justify an us and them

how does anyone keep going

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One Response to “mind of peace, chin of hair”

  1. Gail Brown Says:

    In Chicago there are lives as scarred by gunfire who can also finger the bullet holes in there walls and fear having their children shot as they play in front of their house. It is all too real for the mom who lost two sons there in the last two months. where is the hope she need to go on? Sadness, loss, no hope, depression, is it because there are too many guns or no self control or no respect for life? Senseless loss? Is all loss senseless? Depression, loss of hope but so much to hope for.
    Love you, mom


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