carnal corn

October 1, 2012

our friends who are family;
much can be said about them
and their truly remarkable little boy,
they inspire me towards goodness.

here is something else entirely:

when their son was 2ish
he had trouble with the hard ‘k’ sound
sometimes getting it right,
sometimes replacing the ‘k’ with a ‘p’.
he also always said ‘my’ instead of the personal pronoun ‘I’.

now, of a lovely summers eve
they were preparing dinner together
an idyllic scene of pleasant domesticity
late afternoon sunshine, hamburgers and corn on the cob
the mother inside with the boy who was helping to shuck the cobs
the father manning the grill
and incongruously enjoying some extreme heavy metal music
(the type that makes you think that a demonic cookie monster
is coming in a helicopter gunship to consume your soul)
in exuberant joy the dad burst in dancing through the screen door
carrying the platter of meat and proclaiming
I love hardcore metal!!
the son looking up from his labors exclaimed in return
My love hardcore porn!

there are some things that you hope your children
do not repeat in mixed company.
then there are things that you hope,
they never say again.


7 Responses to “carnal corn”

  1. Lindsey Says:

    This is a great story. But the post title is my favorite part!

  2. Kristen Says:

    So, here I am commenting… :o) Thank you for this. I had actually forgotten about this funny moment until you mentioned it the other day. I laughed for a good few minutes- the hearty kind with tears. Your description of heavy metal music is perfect. I have always had trouble describing it. No longer. Now I will just quote you! I also kindly ask for permission to use this (with a link and credit to you, of course!) on our family blog. It’s just too funny and well-written to not share to our blog audience!

  3. Ryan Roling Says:


    Being a good Iowa boy, my couldn’t agree more with that little boy!

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