pregnant with puns! oh, you must be so proud.

July 16, 2012

parturient with paronomasia
(bonus redundant alliteration)

in a few weeks we will have another child.

i have been mostly unable to conceptualize this
to feel it
though the evidence of it has become rather large (round?)
the other parent’s appearance makes it apparent
that i will promptly become a parent for the 3rd time

(i dont think you’re supposed to say things like large and round)

we went swimming
i asked my wife if she felt more like a bobber or a stone
and i was suddenly the least popular person in the pool
until after a few minutes when my wife responded “a bobber.”
at which time all the older ladies nodded their heads
in fond remembrance
and we all went on as if nothing had happened
joining together for the most beautiful
synchronized swimming floral arrangement
that the world has ever seen.
i love seniors

for the record = my wife is beautiful
she is remarkable and strong
and i am proud.

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9 Responses to “pregnant with puns! oh, you must be so proud.”

  1. artyelf Says:

    This is utterly delightful!
    Good wishes to you, your wife, and the small one coming. ♡

  2. Lindsey Says:

    Paronomasia: I had to look that one up. Nicely done.

    It’s apparent you’re a parent.
    Your wife appears a pear, a pair
    of human beans in one shell. She’ll be shucking,
    debarking her passenger shortly,
    and indeed, the passenger is quite short.

  3. Shawn Says:

    yes, i want to add: magnanimous and forgiving
    though she did ask, “o.k… so where are the puns?”
    Well, we’re expecting, they haven’t been delivered.
    …Oh, there they are.

  4. brbarnacle Says:

    I dig this post….positivity. Lovely alliteration and fun wordplay. The question of a stone or bobber and the older ladies nodding was a highlight. It made me excited to see you guys.

  5. rachel Says:

    Oh my! This one makes me cry. When you talk about my sis like that I can’t help it. But, truly, this one is utterly delightful. (does utter get a few pun points here?)


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