mind·full – keep in it reel

June 26, 2012

its like tornado
and fog mixed together

or an old film reel
with the individual cells running quickly, sequentially
together they should form a cohesive full motion image
but they are running faster and faster
refused fusing and never losing the flicker
and suddenly every frame is something different
and as they flash by you throw darts
when you hit a cell it jumps through the aperture
for a moment huge and overpowering in hyperfocus
and then gets sucked back into the relentless rotation
gone and again endless for another – moving faster

as though you can actually feel gears turning
but they are not set right and are grinding tearing
slowly pushing each other
biting into one another
just above and behind your temples

should and if   –   speed and spin
like those motorcycles driving around and around
inside that ball at the circus

recently i made some ones laugh – on purpose
i was feeling better
but i cant maintain it
its so frustrating
so frightening

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