not a participating human being

May 31, 2012

it is bleak in the box
hard to spread your arms

every week there is a recovery group that meets in my building
and every week i forget to unlock the door for them
so i get a phone call and they all applaud
as i come running down the hallway
dirty and distracted from whatever i had just been doing
to unlock the door to their meeting room
there are smiles and greetings
they shake my hand and pat me on the back
tell me that im an all-around great guy
(very encouraging – maybe i forget on purpose)
and then a big bald smiling motorcycly looking guy
corners me for conversation and
hands me a stack of what appear to be laminated business cards
they are not, they are hug coupons…

good for one hug
redeemable from any participating human being

it always feels like forever
that this is it from now on
the future is … unredeemable
and that it is worse than it has ever been
and yet that this is how it has always been
but it cannot possibly continue this way
it is not survivable
it always feels this way
and we survive

i have never used one of the coupons
i have occasionally given them away for others to use
next time im gonna give one back to that guy
redeem it right then and there
life: i would really like to participate



8 Responses to “not a participating human being”

  1. Shawn Says:

    i sent some to my mom for mother’s day
    i like to think about her using them
    she gives so much away for free
    and deserves a million returns

  2. I would really like a stack top redeem for when I come! Love your comment about your Mom! Love, your other Mom

    • Shawn Says:

      if i knew what a stack top redeem was, i would be happy to provide it. i could give you a stack to redeem, but you don’t need a coupon for a hug from me.

  3. Shawn Says:

    I love my moms!

  4. Says:

    I’ll take one of them there q-pons.

  5. Gail Brown Says:

    Hugs are free where I work at the center and at home. I have been trying to think of a place and time where I need a coupon for a hug. The time is coming.

  6. Gail Brown Says:

    It is so nice to be loved. I get a good feeling inside. I love you so much. Mom

  7. Danielle Says:

    The middle part describes it so well.
    I try, I think, to participate but it always ends up wrong, I think.
    I’d like one of them there hugs.

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