false start

i heard someone say…
so many things.

and so i decided to add something pointless:

if you tell the truth…
do people see you as fragile
though we are taught that the truth is strength
is pure – will set you free
does it back you into the corner
leave you without options
pigeonhole you
does it depend on what your truth is?
that’s funny.
if you tell the truth
are you naked and alone – exposed, exiled
without that hidden weapon, that final trump card
of the truth
(does it depend on how many clichés you use)
(or if people agree with you – your disagreeable truth?)

the truth just is
the truth is just
it is unassailable
it is black and white
no
it is grey
and fragile –
quivering

the truth is the dodo bird
flightless, without protection
walking around in plain sight
picked off one by one
until its extinction
beautiful, strange old sketches exist
and a rumor of it
now and again as a possibility passing into myth

is this supposed to rhyme or not

the truth is rhyming with itself
oh (common) come on – that doesnt mean anything
it just sounds like its supposed to mean something
tell the truth
because the truth comes in pieces
some assembly required
an apologetic
for an apology
apoplectic that it takes so long for me
to get it together
to finish anything – ever

the truth is the bison
million strong
shaking the earth with its passing
and then gone
leaving guilt and blame
a romantic image that is no longer even a part
of our public conscience but still left for our imagination
no longer necessary to our survival
in fact the last time we thought about it
it was kind of in the way
and then used as an ironic weapon
to eliminate other inconveniences

oh, now youre really pouring it on

the truth is kind of terrifying
most of us just shake our heads in wide-eyed wonder
and at best picture the darkness
at the back of a deep cave
just past where shafts of light stream down from the ceiling
and make it all the darker for their light
or deeper where the light just cannot reach
cannot touch
slowly filtered through the darkness until it is gone completely
my eyes never adjust

what does that mean

can you blink and miss it
is it blurry at the edge of your vision
turn your head quickly
and nothing is there?

the truth needs no metaphor
but is like a matador
swinging his red cape as a target for the bull

honestly, that should be a truism (cocky)
does something smell funny
cause the truth only smells good

truth inspires fanaticism?
turning a blind eye from the truth?
does the truth bring:
humiliation
or humility
or confidence
or arrogance
or does it depend on the truth
and why
when people are so completely convinced
that they know the truth
do they seem so delusional

delusion: the nature of truth = philosophical contingency

ugh!…i’ve made myself tired

the strength of your conviction
in your opinion
does not make it any more true

tautologically speaking of course

boy, we really picked a hard topic today didnt we
over my head – truth – overreaching
overarching . over-arcing . over arsing . overreacting . over oneself
and one’s self (myself mostly)(mostly moistly)

do you know the truth?
yah, i’m full of it.

truth is like memory
never entirely accurate
always completely dependent on your perspective
and the situation in which you are trying to recall it
it never stops shaping you
as you get older it grows
simultaneously more vague and more important

truth is like playing hookey
everyone knows the phrase but no one knows where it came from
every culture calls it something different but it all means the same thing
no really, its truancy.
 

it really does seem to depend on what we’re talking about
so many different kinds of truth(s) – so open-ended
and i dont know what or which or why im talking about
apparently i associate truth with darkness and not light
with the unknowable and not the known?
proofs and feeling, spoken and unspoken, individual and eternal
it all seems true and not true
truth: a compromise
riding into the sunset, writing into the grey

i just set out to say that we are made of many truths
many of our own creation
and no One completely defines us
but im only speaking for me
it all came from introducing someone new to: myself as written here
just thought he’d like the song: fresh bread
didnt think until i walked away of all the rest
or i did but didnt think of the consequence
to our relationship or his view of me (and i got nervous)
it felt like he would have power over me or treat me with kid gloves
i should have just trusted him – he’s bigger than that
but instead i vomited the above (too much – sorry)

can i ever speak truth for/of myself
when i question it in myself so often
so much self-doubt
what if im just full of shit
but i am not so grand that i could of been fooling everyone for so long
i am loved – thats true
i want to be known but not diminished
nor treated as a person with illness
given extra consideration and gentleness
pitiable, misunderstood, depressed, dismissed
but i cant even decide what i believe from one moment to the next
(let alone what is true)
it changes and is overwhelming
and all that is certainly only a small small part of it – of me
truthfully, not much of use here

…

I hope the truth of you brings you strength.