Boots

perhaps strapless
or complete with straps on which to pull one’s self up.
funny thing about bootstrapping
(or as i think of it – the idiot’s idiom)
it was originally used to refer to something that was not possible
“to pull oneself over the fence by one’s bootstraps”
was something that could not happen
therefore…
to use this phrase in response to a story you had been told
actually meant – “you’re full of shit”
“quit braggin’” (people in the olden days
never put g’s on their gerunds).

i think this is true even as it is used today.
to pull yourself up by your bootstraps still refers
to something that is unlikely to occur.
it still pretty much means that you’re not gonna make it
that you are probably not capable of making this happen,
while somehow being self-congratulatory
to the person who is suggesting that you bootstrap
that they would somehow or have already
accomplished the impossible on their own
it triggers in me a reaction to say something as equally trite
such as:
“yah? well, what about people who don’t have any boots?”
“what if your boots got stolen?” (by life’s crappy circumstances)
“what if you were born without boots?” (ahem, Act of God)
or
“why don’t you go bootstrap yourself.”

really, it seems an awfully lonely thing to be forced to do
– and you can’t actually do it – (i tried)

however, i have to admit…
not all boots are created equally

and some wear them better than others
if we all had bootstraps like these?
well…