jokes about depression

May 28, 2011

for actual jokes on depression please go to: jokes about depression – part 2
examples from part 2:
there was a man digging a hole
every now and again he would stop and weep…
after all he was in a depression
i live with depression… he stays in despair room
a depressed man walks into a bar
. . . repeatedly muttering a phrase to himself.
the bartender overhears the man and responds, “pour you what?”
nothing brings you down faster than a flat tire,
you have no option but despair.

what follows is the original post “jokes about depression”

the problem with trying to write about depression
from the inside (while depressed)
is that one doesnt write when depressed
3 and a half months

actually, i wrote 2 words
in the condensation of the bathroom mirror after sitting
in the shower for an hour (rhyming on accident = awesome)


how tragic, how dramatic
so hows 8th grade treating you?
just hoping someone reads your secret message
written in invisible tears…
no one wants to read that, its really not that interesting

i had decided that my next post really needed to be another song
– a new song
turns out i am even less likely to record music than to write words
in fact i’ve lost my calluses

food tastes like cardboard, music doesn’t sound right
and playing music actually makes me feel a bit queasy,
even sex just seems like a lot of effort
(even though afterwards you feel like a root beer float
– best you felt all day)
does writing about sex in the 2nd person make it less awkward?

i read this thing about how if you don’t sleep
more than five hours a night
for 3 nights in a row its like functioning after 2 drinks*

*midfoot-note: not citing sources means the information is very reliable
and that the author is not lazy

so i have been drunk for about 17 years (ok,  just tipsy)
does everyone (all 5 of you) feel sorry for me? — good
i am going to go get another beer

there have been times when i have slept better –
i remember every one of them

but really
if the biggest complaint in your life is that you don’t get enough sleep?
circumstantially, that is not a bad life.


2 Responses to “jokes about depression”

  1. Lindsey Says:

    Welcome back.

  2. Ryan Roling Says:


    You’re my friend.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s